I’ll be lying if I say I didn’t miss you.

It has been quite a while now since you left my life. I admit, even till now, I still did not manage to get through this. I know, I can be tough, I can be strong, but sometimes, this is just too much to digest. Honestly speaking, almost every night I have a dream about you; it was mostly flashbacks of what we went through together when you were here, where in the end, I woke up with tears.

My circle of friends isn’t much, what more of a person like you. You were the friend I have known for a long period, if not the longest. Honestly, I never thought we could’ve been this close. You and your lifestyle, me and mine, it was vastly different, yet you were not like most people of your status. You were, well, different. You were the first person to ever show me of how first impression can be ever so wrong, and you made me change my whole perspective view on people altogether. You are the reason I came up with perception is deceptive. You literally changed me.

I know, people often saw us bickering, arguing, but only some of them know how close we were. You were always there when I needed you, but you never even once grew weary of my needs. Not even once did you show you were tired of me.

It is true then, what the common saying means, that you never know good things till they’re gone. Your lost, was one of the hardest things I have to accept for, and even now, I still couldn’t swallow it. I knew, all that sudden disappearances and rarely talk to you again must meant something. I asked you, I remember, but you assured me that nothing was wrong. In the end, you’re gone. You told me once years ago, that I should stay optimistic; no matter how dire the situations are, so I am sure you have your reasons why would you do something like that, and with that, I will not question or doubt your reasons.

Maybe it was good that you were a person who dislikes giving mementos to people, especially to a person like me. Now, I see the reasons as of why you dislike that so much.

اللَّهُمَّ اغْفِرْ لِفُلَانِ وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي الْمَهْدِيِّينَ وَاخْلُفْهُ فِي عَقِبِهِ فِي الْغَابِرِينَ وَاغْفِرْ لَنَا وَلَهُ يَا رَبَّ الْعَالَمِينَ وَأَفْسِحْ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيهِ

I miss you, friend.

Please don't take my sunshine away..

Please don't go..

Coretan terakhir sang puitis yang terseksa.

Izinkan coretan yang hina ini diberi laluan buat malam yang fana ini.

Aku tahu, aku tidak layak untuk menerima seseorang insan sepertimu, mahupun beritahumu sebegitu. Namun, jikalauku tidak memberitahumu, hatiku tetap merasakannya. Sudah ku janji untuk tidak mendatangkan lagi kepayahan dalam hidupmu, dan ku sanggup beransur kembali seperti mana keadaan kita sebelum bertemu.

Aku tahu, sudah banyak keheningan yang ku tinggalkan, sudah hancur hidupmu ku perlakukan. Tiada sepatah ayat, mahupun satu perlakuan yang ku buat yang tidak menyakitimu. Oleh itu, kufaham sekiranya kau tidak mahu berbicara sesamaku, dan jikalau kau melangkah keluar dari hidupku, aku nampak kebijaksanaan keputusanmu dan merelakannya.

Namun, aku tidak akan mengaku kalah, tiada bendera putih, tiada melutut ke tanah, keranaku amat menyayangimu, dan akan senantiasa fikirkanmu walaupun kau tiada lagi disisiku.

Jikalau kita bersua muka dimasa hadapan, dimana aku rasa kita akan berjumpa lagi, akanku lihat mu pergi, sambil lidah terkelu, mata terpadam, mulut tertutup, aliran air mata jelas terpampang, memikirkan betapa kau sudah pun mencorak hidup masa hadapanmu tanpaku.